Microsuck

I hate Microsoft. 

No really. I hate them. Malice is in my heart. If Microsoft was a window, I’d break it. If it was a cat, I’d drown it. If it was a burrito, I’d eat it and chew really violently.

My anger burns like a thousand cans of Tinactin. 

Let me explain.

April, 2010 - Microsoft officially begins supporting the ability to save, copy and move files to a USB device on the Xbox 360. 

November, 2010 - CaptainAhmazing’s Xbox 360 dies in a Red Ring of Death. Three Red Lights.

November, 2010 - CaptainAhmazing takes his Xbox 360 hard drive to his local Gamestop (where he is known by the employees) and moves his game saves to a USB device, a SanDisk 8gb MicroSD card w/ USB adapter. CaptainAhmazing didn’t feel like copying the files individually so he moved them all to save time.

December, 2010 - CaptainAhmazing receives his Xbox 360 back after it has been repaired. The USB device with all the games saves is inserted into the Xbox 360. The Xbox 360 says “What? I don’t see anything on this USB device. CaptainAhmazing says “You’re….you’re sh***ing me right?” 

December, 2010 - CaptainAhmazing learns that Microsoft programmers are failures. See following Twitter conversation with Xbox Support.

So I responded with:
to which they responded with:

So, I lost ALL my XBOX360 games saves. ALL of them. From over 2 years of playing. Mass Effect 1 and 2? Gone. Assassins Creed 2 (right in the middle of playing)? Erased. Fallout 3? No more. 

Even though my USB device “isn’t supported,” the Xbox STILL let me move the files over. WHY WOULD YOU PROGRAM A CONSOLE TO ALLOW A PLAYER TO MOVE DATA TO AN UNSUPPORTED DEVICE MICROSOFT?! WHY? ARE YOUR PROGRAMMERS SEA URCHINS? HOW HARD WOULD IT BE TO HAVE A POP-UP MESSAGE SAYING “We’re sorry. This particular USB device you’ve chosen to use is kinda iffy. We don’t want you to lose your game saves. Please try a different USB device.” IS THAT TOO HARD? YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THAN THE MAHARAJA! I’M PRETTY SURE YOU COULD DO IT.

Yeah, I hope you die Microsoft. I hope you die like a rat that has eaten that type of rat poison that doesn’t kill them right away, but makes them thirsty and then when they go drink water it kills them. I hope you die like that.